How many times have you needed to talk — to vent, to process your thoughts out loud, or just release what you have been holding — but instead of reaching out, you kept it to yourself and kept going?
Maybe you did not want to be a burden because everybody is dealing with something right now, and nobody wants to feel like the negative friend bringing everyone down.
Maybe life was just busy. The schedule was full. The responsibilities kept calling. And somewhere along the way, connection started feeling like one more thing you did not have time for.
So you told yourself it was fine. You told yourself you were okay. And sometimes you were okay.
But sometimes you were not okay.
You were just isolated.
And those are not the same thing.
Today, we are talking about connection — not as a nice-to-have, but as a genuine part of your health and well-being.
You’re listening to Making Space for Me, the podcast for women who spend so much time caring for everyone and everything else that they often neglect their own needs.
I’m Otanthia Williams-Brady, Nurse Practitioner and Certified Life Coach, and here we have honest conversations about how to stop abandoning yourself inside your responsibilities and start practicing Self-Priority as Stewardship — so you can better care for your health and well-being.
So I want to start with my own story because I lived this.
When I went through my own season of burnout, I was not only disconnected from myself — I was disconnected from my friends too.
Part of it was time. There was always so much to do and so many responsibilities. I felt like I did not have time to be social.
But guilt was part of it too.
I felt guilty for enjoying life when everything around me felt heavy and serious. And I also knew I was not in the best emotional place. During that time, I was miserable. I had a lot going on. A lot of frustration. A lot of thoughts. A lot of complaints.
I did not want to feel like I was putting all of that negativity on other people. But at the same time, I did not have the energy to be fake happy when talking to people.
So I pulled back.
I isolated.
And at the time, I told myself I was protecting people from my heaviness.
But looking back, I can see clearly that isolation was hurting me because my friends were part of my safe space. They gave me room to speak freely, to laugh, and to take my focus somewhere else, even if only for a moment.
And sometimes that moment is everything.
Maybe your story is not burnout.
Maybe for you, it is just a full season. A demanding job. A packed calendar. Family responsibilities. Caregiving. Kids. Marriage. Church. School. Life.
Maybe you are not in a crisis, but you are busy enough that connection keeps getting pushed to the side.
You know how it goes:
“I still need to return that text.”
“I need to call her.”
“We need to get together.”
But then it does not happen.
Here is what I want you to understand: connection is not just something nice to have when life is easy. Connection is part of how we are supported when life is full, heavy, or demanding.
And while connection does not fix whatever you have going on, it can remind you that you are not alone inside of it. It can also remind you that there is still joy, even when life feels like a lot.
And that changes something.
As a Nurse Practitioner, I think it matters that we understand the health side of loneliness and isolation too.
In 2023, the U.S. Surgeon General released an advisory on loneliness and social isolation, naming it as a serious public health concern. Not just a personal issue, but a real public health concern.
The advisory talks about how lacking social connection can affect health and even compares the mortality impact of low social connection to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
I want you to sit with that because many of us would never minimize the effects of tobacco, but we often minimize isolation and loneliness.
We tell ourselves:
“I’m just busy.”
“I don’t have time to hang out.”
“I don’t want to bother anybody.”
“I’ll connect when I feel better.”
“I’ll call when life calms down.”
But chronic isolation is not harmless.
The CDC also connects loneliness and social isolation with increased risk for health concerns like heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, dementia, and earlier death.
These are not soft outcomes.
These are real health concerns.
And the flip side matters too.
Research shows that people with strong, positive social connections tend to experience lower rates of depression and anxiety, stronger immune support, and greater resilience in the face of stress.
And here is what I find most compelling as both a clinician and a coach:
Connection does not just help us feel better emotionally.
It can also help support the body’s stress response.
When we feel supported, seen, and safe, our nervous system often has a chance to settle.
Stress hormones can decrease.
The body can finally exhale.
That is part of what safe, healthy connection can do for you biologically — whether you are aware of it or not.
So no, connection is not something you only reach for when everything is handled and all is well.
Connection is part of what supports you while you are handling life.
And I think this is especially important for responsible women because many of us are used to carrying quietly.
We are used to listening, checking on everyone else, showing up, helping, and making sure other people are okay.
But when we need support, we hesitate.
When life is heavy, stress and burnout can make you pull away from the very people who help you breathe.
That was a mindset shift I had to make.
I had to stop treating connection like something I could only enjoy when everything was okay.
Because when everything was not okay, that is when I needed safe connection even more.
I think sometimes, as women, we need permission to connect and let it out.
We view venting as being negative, but venting does not mean you are being negative. Sometimes it means you have been holding too much by yourself for too long.
And for many of us, I know the big thing is that we do not want to burden or bother anybody.
I get that.
But the people who truly love us — our real friends, our safe family members, the people who feel like home — often want to support us.
And it is okay to ask.
You can say:
“Do you have capacity for me to vent for a few minutes?”
Or:
“I don’t need you to fix this. I just need to say it out loud.”
Or:
“Can I talk something through with you? I’ve been holding it in.”
That kind of language gives the other person room to be honest, and it gives you permission to ask for what you actually need.
Because not every conversation has to become a solution.
Sometimes support is simply being heard.
Sometimes it is someone saying:
“Girl, I get it.”
“That is a lot.”
“You do not have to carry that alone.”
“Let’s just take a break and enjoy.”
We underestimate how powerful that is.
Connection also does not have to be big.
It does not have to be a dinner, a girls’ trip, or a two-hour phone call.
Sometimes it is a 10-minute call.
A voice note.
A text.
A quick walk.
A shared laugh.
A moment of honesty when someone asks, “How are you?” instead of automatically saying, “I’m fine.”
The point is not that you need a huge block of time.
The point is that small, honest moments of connection matter significantly.
Now, I also want to say this clearly:
Not every relationship is restorative.
Some relationships support you.
Others drain you.
Some people allow you to be honest.
Others make you feel like you have to explain, defend, shrink, or perform.
So when I talk about connection, I am not simply talking about being around people.
I am talking about meaningful connection.
The kind where you can be seen, not just needed.
The kind where you can receive, not only give.
The kind where you can be honest without feeling like you are too much.
Because it is possible to be socially surrounded but emotionally unsupported.
So the question is not, “Do I have time to fully catch up with everyone?”
Here are a few questions I would like you to reflect on:
Have I been disconnecting from others because life feels too busy, too heavy, or too exhausting?
Have I been avoiding people because I do not want to be a burden?
Have I convinced myself I have to wait until I feel better before I let people near me?
Who is one safe person I can reach out to this week?
And then — reach out to one person.
Not ten.
Just one.
It can be as simple as:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking about you. Do you have time to talk this week?”
Or:
“Can I vent for a few minutes? I don’t need advice. I just need to say it out loud.”
Or:
“Life has been a lot. Do you want to get together?”
Keep it simple.
Let it be honest.
And let that be enough.
You do not have to wait until you are fully okay or until life feels calm, quiet, and put together.
Take the time necessary to connect in ways that support you.
You are not a machine.
You are a person.
And people — real, whole, human people — need connection.
That is not weakness.
That is not neediness.
That is how we were made.
You were not meant to carry everything alone.
And choosing to connect is actually tending to your health.
Now, if you are in a season where connection feels hard, or you do not have someone safe to process with right now, I want you to know there are still places to begin.
That is part of why I created the Clarity & Capacity Reset Session.
It is a private 1:1 space to pause, process what feels heavy, identify what may be draining you, and get clear on what you need next.
The link to book is in the show notes.
Thank you for listening to Making Space for Me.
Until next time, be gentle with yourself and keep making space for you.
